Uniformed casuals

Recently my college issued a diktat regarding the dress code in our college. The future stakeholders of this nation have been asked to wear a uniform. This uniform diktat is supposed to be issued by AICTE, a national governing body of educational institutions. The college authorities further in the support of this ‘divine commandment’ say that it will ensure a formal approach from the students towards the studies.

Let’s probe into the hallucinations that authorities have been suffering from. Firstly, when they say that it is a necessary regulation and must be implemented accordingly as per AICTE orders, they forget the basic natural regulation i.e ‘The Timeframe’ of a particular action. When God decided to create this earth, he did it in 7 days straight, he didn’t take 7.1 or 8 days (for the sake of the argument) BUT only seven days. When you’re born an angel marks the day of your death, and it is made sure that you don’t live a jiffy more than that. Why? Because procrastination always lead to chaos and chaos is never welcomed by anyone.

Now the question arises about the procrastination by our college and the university that affiliates them. It has been a common notion since the time of ‘Adam’ that engineering course is for 4 years straight but the university and college people might have been busy attending some cultural festival while this holy commandment was being revealed. Our college might well be the only engineering college in the entire Milky way that has 5 batches undergoing a course held only for 4 years. Divine miracle indeed! The senior most batch has still a semester to undergo while their counterparts studying elsewhere have already joined their Masters course or have transformed into earning hands for their families while our seniors are still busy taking ‘Intros’.

Now some people might well argue that what can the college authorities do in this regard? That they are helpless indeed before the Mighty University!

Giving such an argument is analogous to saying that the Army protecting a nation are impotent while dealing with incursions because they fight with ‘Taase Bandook’ instead of regular arsenal.

Now deciphering such events even a simpleton like me can conclude that, it would be much much better if the regulation regarding the time-period of a course completion is implemented and strictly adhered to first and all the attention and force be implemented for that very cause instead of trying to please the eyes at the uniform outlooks of impoverished souls who are uncertain of their course completion period.

Secondly, it is much better to create a prolific atmosphere for the commotion of students. While some colleges issue a particular seat no. to a particular individual, our college generates the team spirit and social inclination by making students to say a divine chant known to college students only ‘Tala adjust kar’. These three divine words make you so grounded to earth that sometimes you find yourself actually sitting on the bus aisle. Inspirational indeed! Will surely put many spiritual gurus to shame. Or sometimes you find your throne to be the bonnet. Game of thrones it is. How well do you understand the basic thermodynamic concepts of heat transfer! Not a single minute of our time is wasted!

Now with a uniform outlook in buses, it will appear to be some uncanny sight of spiritual brotherhood and engineering where students ingeniously create a space for more students than there actually is. Once a confused yet amusing sight was witnessed where Mr. X was hopefully pinching the leg of Mr. Y which turned out to be the limb of Mr. Z who slapped Mr. Y for such mischief. All in all the very purpose of Mr. X to beleaguer Mr. Y was achieved though not in a way he initially planned. Again it teaches us to do a similar task in a different way thus make students innovative. Management par excellence!

Lastly, it is mandatory for even primary schools to have a sports dept. but in my college that dept. has found to be nowhere. Trust me I’ve searched every fissure and scissure but couldn’t find the dept. I’ve turned every pebble and searched beneath but couldn’t locate a genuine playground. Maybe they have found Mr. Potter’s invisible cloak to veil it from the outside world.

Still donning a uniform and having a formal outlook is much welcomed than wearing those ‘Thermocot’ lookalike pants looking at which makes you apprehend that the person who dons them has forgot to wear his cover pants. Hope the college authorities stick to their plan this time around and hope it is much more than their regular ‘Soda-water Josh’ that fades away next time the sun rises from the east.

P.S Our motherland has witnessed much bloodshed at the hands of ‘uniformed’ men than at the hands of non-uniformed men. If only uniform could make anyone better! If only!

P.P.S Have to conclude the article here as I have got a uniform to fetch!

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