Yes, I was a bit busy these days and didn’t get time to check for your reply. You have put me in a predicament; I don’t know how to respond. You ask me questions I don’t know answers of. But let me tell you this, I never felt as if I am in love with you. I don’t think I can be. Yes, I too felt as if we crossed a line somewhere, and as you have mentioned it would be better if we parted ways.
P.S Keep up the good work going on your blog and be blessed.”
She really sent a timid telegram to his plethora of emotions. Why did she do that? Were her feelings deceiving her or was she trying to be cautious in her approach? “After all what do I know about him”, Aisha murmured to herself, “apart from his name and his interests? Maybe he was feigning his way through, how difficult is it to appear pious online? How difficult is it to gather bits of knowledge here and there? Maybe he is not what he says he is. He might be someone who knows me, and, has tracked me down on the internet, and now is in pursuit of making me fall in love with him. Maybe he knows me much more than I am aware about myself, and all of this is merely a gambit in itself to lure me into his trap.” These were the thoughts that were troubling Aisha after she sent her email. Sometime passed and she heard a call for dinner from downstairs.
Aisha was the only surviving child of her parents. She was the third child of her parents, the other two both being girls like herself had died soon after birth. This was another reason why she was very much loved and adored by her parents, her uncles and her aunts, much more than their own children. Both of her parents were teachers and had made it sure to raise Aisha in the best, amiable environment. She was a grownup now and her mother was found discussing suitable suitors for her with her father. Upon feeling Aisha’s presence nearby, her father used to evade the question with a frivolous saying “I won’t let my daughter go” and used to hug Aisha tightly, Aisha used to reply “I am not leaving my father as well”. Both well aware of the fact that one day she will be married and will have to leave her father’s haven forever.
After finishing her dinner Aisha returned to her room and somehow thoughts of Abdullah were still haunting her. Now she began to reason with herself, ‘How can he possibly have tracked me down? It was me who commented on his blog! His blog about Hijab was genuine and it didn’t have any proof that he was feigning besides that, his blog is older than mine, containing topics that have been written when I was alien to the internet itself!’
In her heart she knew that she loved him but like him, she too was afraid of love! She always enjoyed the smile on the faces of her parents whenever they talked about seeking husband for her. They, like every other parent, wanted to make sure that, the person their child is to spend his/her life with is best for them. Like every other parent they wanted to enjoy those tiring, exhausting discussions on the list of the suitors. They wanted to satisfy the insatiable heart of a parent. And Aisha didn’t want to rob them of this happiness. She always used to change the topic whenever her parents seemed to incline towards discussing the fate of their previous children born before her. She wanted to be married with the consent of her parents, and perhaps if her siblings would have outlived to reach the age of marriage, she might have considered Abdullah, but being the only living child of her parents she decided to trample the flowers of her ‘Garden of love’ when they were nothing more but buds!
But in pursuit of saving herself from any emotional suffering she had torn apart Abdullah. Abdullah read the mail several times trying to decipher the hidden message that was there all along but could only be seen through the eyes of a lover. He thought that the screen was getting blurred without realising that it was some viscous fluid secreted in his eyes that blurred his vision. After failing to make out any other meaning apart from the one that was there in simple English, he sighed rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands and went to sleep.
Days were passing by and more and more marriage proposals were coming Aisha’s way, she was coming up with excuses, dilly dallying the issue for some time. Why was she doing this? Perhaps she wanted Abdullah to take a more formal approach, perhaps she wanted him to talk with her parents and make it official, but why did she give him a cold response in the first place? Why was she unable to express her feelings in a plain simple manner? Why do lovers behave as strangers?
Meanwhile, few years passed, Abdullah now with a doctorate, was Professor at some Saudi university. He still used to continue his blogging journey and this time, apart from his conventional topics, he was discussing the topics relating to love, marriage, and children. He shifted from one field to another mainly because he was writing the blogs for himself rather than his audience, he was doing more of introspection instead of delivering sermons to masses, he wanted himself to gain something from his blogs, and if some of his readers gained something that was a bonus! And yes, he was not practicing everything he was sharing but he was trying.
Last year he came to know about the marriage of his own brother! Umar had married a girl at Ireland some 6 months after he had landed there and was thus dillydallying for years now. Abdullah came to know that he even had a year old niece. All of this news about the newest family member was announced by Umar’s acquaintance at Ireland; he was of predisposition that Abdullah already knew the fact. Actually, Abdullah had met this acquaintance at Lal chowk, where the latter congratulated the former for the recent blessing, and apologised for not being able to congratulate Mrs and Mr Amjad personally!
Abdullah smiled and left. Initially, he didn’t believe that his brother would have married that too without the consent of his parents but today after a long time since he had actually let his mind believe that he was thinking about her, he got reminded of Aisha. He never had let her be in the oblivion, even for a jiffy, but he was just pretending as if he never thought about her. The greatest lovers are biggest cheaters, they don’t cheat their beloved they cheat themselves. They call it infatuation when it’s the only thing that tells them “Today wasn’t that bad either, maybe tomorrow you will meet her, let’s live another day, who knows? Miracles might happen. She may want you like you want her, if not today, let’s wait for tomorrow” and this continues until the day where either She embraces you or you embrace death!
‘Lovers are helpless,’ He thought. What is it, that drives people mad? So much so that they are not ready to consult the only people in the world who will never wrong them in the matters pertaining to the most important decision of their life- Their parents regarding marriage. If you want to marry someone, tell your parents, they will not be displeased, for all their life if there was something that they wanted, it was your happiness and nothing else. A smile on your face is solace for them, you are all they have. Since the day you were born, your parents are dreaming about your wedding, they want everything to be perfect, perfect for you, and what will become of them when they will come to know that, they are not even invited to the wedding of their own children? Finally, he somehow managed to tell his parents about Umer, they weren’t angry but a sudden melancholy enveloped them. They felt betrayed, not because their son chose to not tell them this personally but because they felt as if they had made their own child to distance away from them just because of some principles that he was meant to adhere to. But little did they know that it was because of the respect Umer had for his parents that made him to be reluctant. The family asked them, Umer and his wife to visit their home in Kashmir to attend the engagement ceremony of Amir. The family received them with great zeal and fervour. And during the regular family talk, Umer suggested to marry Abdullah along with Amir. So, it was decided. He was married to Khadija, a simple and beautiful woman.
Finally, Aisha too was married, to Zakarya, and few months after her marriage, she came across Abdullah’s blogs, and got the feeling as if he too was married, she felt happy for him, and even prayed for him. Abdullah continued his blogs even after his marriage to Khadija out of his passion, and not because he was still waiting for Aisha, as it was the only way he could communicate with her, tell her that he is out there, and yet pretend he did not mean any such thing! Maybe he did or maybe not. Who knows? Lovers are simple people with strange emotions and stranger actions; they are always in the pursuit of their beloved but prefer to think that, they are not!
Both lived happily ever after!!!!
Wait! Is this how such a unique relationship was meant to end? They met yet they did not meet? Is this how the prayers of lovers are answered?
Today, on 9th of Muharram, some months after Abdullah had applied for Khadija’s visa, they were going to Saudi. Aisha too had her husband working there in Saudi somewhere and was travelling on the same day as she too was not living in Kashmir anymore. Ah! Some way or the other, destiny finds a way to keeps lovers close to each other! Maybe they might be travelling by the same flight or not! They might be in the same flight, at least from Delhi to Saudi! And let me tell you, yes, they were in the same flight! Not just from Delhi to Saudi but all the way from Kashmir to Jeddah!
At night, at their residence, before going to bed, while Zakarya asked Aisha to check for some email they were going to receive from Embassy, he quietly laid his head on her shoulder looking at the screen while she was using laptop as per his request. He loved her dearly but did she also love him like she loved Abdullah? Or was this all she could do now? Maybe she had really put Abdullah in the oblivion. She was happy to have not raised any hopes in him by sending her last and final email to him. While checking her mails, there was no mail from embassy but there was one mail, from Abdullah!
Everything was now revolving right before her eyes, she blushed from embarrassment, and she could hear the blood flowing in the veins of her neck and head. Zakarya was looking at the screen besides her! What was she supposed to do now? She apprehended that Zakarya may ask about it, she could definitely not procrastinate to check it later as he was all the while staring at the screen; well she could at least try! She did try! She tried to get up from there making an excuse to go back to the kitchen but as destiny had it for her, Zakarya asked, “Who is this?” her hesitation said it all, it was all written over her face, which she hoped He could never read, her body was clearly showing signs of her guilt which she prayed he would never decipher.
Now Zakarya wanted her to open the email, it was more of a command then a request to his newlywed wife. What could a spurned lover have written after a long hiatus? What made him to do this after so long? And Viola! He mailed her today, when she was checking her email in presence of her husband! Of all the days of their longing he rather destiny chose this day!
The email was dated, today!
I knew my prayers won’t go unanswered. I knew that you would be my Queen of jannah! I had trust in my lord. Don’t be embarrassed, it’s just a prank. 😛
P.S Don’t forget to wake me up for fasting, tomorrow.
Amidst cascade of tears Khadija looked at Zarkarya and hugged him, She wanted to throw a tantrum at him but instead her emotions decided to betsy her. That’s what your heart does to you in Love.
Zakarya used Abdullah as his online name while Khadija used Aisha as her! Abdullah (Zakarya) came to know about it when he saw Aisha’s (Khadija’s) email address mentioned in the Visa application as that of her beloved! Adam met Hawa on 10th of Muharram after hundreds of years being dismissed from Jannah. Abdullah too chose this day to reveal it on the 10th Muharram itself!
Now you might be wondering, how they addressed each other?
Let’s leave it to them.
For lovers don’t need names to communicate, they only need love!