Lovers are known to make many promises but how many are actually kept?
Marriage happens to be one of the most important and sacred religious duties. According to Islam, so much so that our beloved Prophet pbuh declared it to be half of our eman. Then why do marriages fail? What happens to two individuals who enter this heavenly bond as soul mates but only end up harbouring hatred for each other? Is it even possible to spend your entire life with a single person? What happens to two individuals who fall in love, get married; swear to be faithful, be supportive, be compassionate towards each other that they finally decide to be nothing but strangers?
I think this mainly happens because holding hands, frequenting restaurants, long duration love calls etc are different things compared to living with the same person, under the same roof, all of your life! Honestly, waking up to the same person is different than sending ‘Good morning’ texts to the very same person all of your life. Marriage does need love, romance, persiflage, humour, and compassion but most important thing that a successful marriage need is – PATIENCE. Some may argue that compromise plays a vital part in a successful marriage but I believe that it’s only through patience that you are able to be persuaded or dissuaded, as the situation might require, without making the things worse; patience help you to reach that much needed consensus without hurting your ego or that of your spouse’s. If your partner doesn’t have as much patience as you do, then let it be as such; you cannot inculcate that in him/her. You two have decided to make ends meet when you entered this sacred institution; now, don’t runaway.
Marriage is like a boat in an ocean, and both the partners in it are sailing to reach a common goal. If your goals differ, then don’t board it. You might think that with time, your partner will agree to change his/her goals but hey, if you are reluctant in changing them, don’t expect your partner to be gullible. Go, seek another companion, world is full of people who want a fellow-traveller. Go, and seek them, embark on this wonderful journey with them. But, don’t fall prey to your whims and desires only to end up in a tempest!
If you still decide to sail together then, let you two first know each other and most importantly, know yourself. Ask yourself: Where you want to reach? How you want to reach? And, why you want to reach that very destination? When you think you have the answer, discuss them with your fellow-traveller. See, if your answers match. They don’t need to match completely but see if you can reach a consensus. Remember, you might need to make some changes because you are not the only one on board. The changes planned together should be done on the shore, if not on it then near the shore.
Still, if you happen to be travelling without a common destination, and you are far away from the shore, try to have a consensus. Compromise a bit…..a bit more because remember, it is the same person around whom all of your world revolved; and now you are scared of letting that person lay his/her hands on the rudder of this boat?! The travellers in this boat will go on adding as it moves into the sea; they will help you in strengthening this boat, they will act as its reinforcement. It has to face the tempest, sooner or later. In the tempest, don’t abandon your boat too soon but also make sure that you don’t sink with it. The swim, back to the shore might be long and tiring and after that long swim to the shore you might never sail again!